No time to speak to a life coach, but you still need help, just want some self-help, enter your details below for a free life balance e-workbook
Coaching has a growing role in the world of leadership development. A high percentage of senior executives and top managers use coaching to be at their very best. Coaching can help with successsion planning in an organisation, by helping to develop the leaders of the future. It can help individuals find the right career and achieve work life balance, in ways they didn’t think possible.
Coaching is an asset to anyone’s development, it’s a unique way of communicating using powerful questioning, it can be applied to parenting, teaching and many other occupations such as nursing and health care. The qualites that make it successful are the unique relationship with the coach and client, connecting people with their values and life purpose, enabling people to understand they are more courageous and resourceful than they realised.
From day one of getting your own coach, the coaching is focused on you, covering any area of your life where you want to make a difference. An effective coaching conversation gets to the heart of what matters to you.
My training as a Co-Active coach, enables me to work with you in a collaborative relationship, working together to help you feel more empowered. Together we create an alliance and work to enable you to take action, find your own answers, be more creative, you will be learning and growing to evoke change and become your best self.
If you would like a more fulfilled, balanced life and you are ready to take action and transform your relationships, career or just improve your health and wellbeing, I would highly recommend investing in a coach. I offer a free sample session as do most other coaches so if you have the desire and motivation to change get in touch with your ideal coach.
Do we dare to dream our honest thoughts? Or do we only give airtime to thoughts within the constraints of our present existence? Are we caught in the heavy shackles of our well paid job, only daring to think within the financial limitations of our existing pay packet, or maybe the next step up the corporate ladder? Or worse still are we already well paid and trapped in a job we have to drag ourselves out of bed for but can’t leave, because there is no way you would earn the same money anywhere else?
We are walking through life so focused on getting on the mortgage ladder, maybe affording to move out from our parents or just getting our own place, we dont dare to think bigger, to increase the mortgage to get our dream home. If we did that, all the bills would go up! We’d have less disposible income, to go out at the weekend, with the same people, to do the same things, go to the same places and drink the same drinks. We have literally created our own limitations and have settled for this being our whole existence apart from our precious annual leave, for now anyway!
What if we could be our best self, live our dream.
- Where would we start?
- Why do we limit ourselves to thinking small?
- Why start with just a promotion?
- Why not a seat on the board?
- Whats really stopping us?
Peer presure holds us back as we worry about what everyone else will think of us. If we apply and don’t succeed, our inner sabateour has a field day telling us not to rock the boat and be contented, otherwise we will fail and spoil everything! Why would we be so stupid just in pursuit of more?
Or is there a different way? What if we could see ourselves five years from now and see our path of possibilities.
We would wake up in the morning with a spring in our step, excited to see what the fabulous day ahead brings, doing the job we love, enthralled by the adventure, then we can just walk the path to achieve our own subconcious desires.
What about us personally, have you ever struggled with your weight or frequent bad hair days. Do you feel like you have no style with clothes and make up, what if in future you looked in the miror and thought “WOW”. All you have to do now is take the path that will take you to that future and believe in who you are or who you will become.
Once you have matured and grown in to your best confident self, if you love yourself, the world will love you back, if you focus on your dreams they will come true, ever heard the saying what we believe we can achieve.
How to overcome the one-to-one where the member of staff is stuck in their own story, with lots of detail.
For example: Kate, “I dont like working with Ann, she doesnt do the whole of her job, she is…..” you could spend the next 20 minutes listening to her delve deeper in to her story, or you could do this:
Questions to ask:
Why is this a problem for you? (move them out of their existing mindset) How specifically? or for what purpose?
“If you dont want“, in this instance to work with Ann (Away from the negative) “What do you want?” (In to the positive).
Now they will be in a more reasonable state of mind. Ask them to put themselves in the other persons shoes (usually works better with their eyes shut). “Imagine you are Ann, how would you feel if you heard what you are saying today?” Now you can see her perspective. “Tell me, what would Ann be thinking and feeling?”. Its no longer about them. “Now imagine you are me, what can i do?” which is a win win situation to help you and Ann in this scenario?
The 1-to-1 is now focused on understanding the problem and finding solutions, not the emotional view point of Kate.
So here I go, standing up in the front of the room surrounded by professional Managers, uncertain of my pitch or what image I want to portray to my peers, why am I deciding? Why can’t I just be me? Ever asked yourself this?
My inner voice on my right side, do your best you’re ace at this, just explain how the new system works, you’ve done your homework, you’ve got this!
My beast on the left, he’s the saboteur leader is whispering, you know your not good enough, your too self conscious, your bloated so your suit looks tight. For god’s sake voices, let me focus!
My boss is listening, he doesn’t like me anyway, why did I think that? My boss doesn’t wake up in the morning thinking, I don’t like her or she’s not a nice person, he wants the best job done, regardless of who does it, he doesn’t even consider likes or dislikes!
If only I was always rational!
It’s Anna turn next she’s better than me! There I go again putting myself down, thinking I’m being complimentary.
Oh well Steven’s next no one likes him, his last presentation was poor. I know I’m better than him, “on a pedestal, are you ”, judging others, the Beast adds! All this inner turmoil is such a waste of energy, if only I could just be me!
Why am I comparing myself to Anna? What is better about her than me? Oh yes she is better at being Anna!! And likewise I am better at being me. The next time you hear your saboteur, acknowledge it and move on, we are all being our very best when we are being trur to ourselves.
How much easier would that meeting have been without my saboteur making it tough?All of our saboteurs come from beliefs formed when we are young, which may no longer be serving us. Did you know most of these can be tamed?
Follow my blogs If you’d like to here more, incite in to women in the boardroom.
Why did the job go to someone else, was I treated unfairly, I’ve worked so hard to one day get that opportunity? One day should have been today!
Was it because I’m a women and we manage emotionally instead of rationally?
Was it because I’m off sick with stress, not fit, ready for the scrap heap, burnt out from years in over drive trying not only to keep up, but striving to be the best?
Or could it be a huge blessing, was I opting for the safe easy option, allowing fear of the unknown to cloud my judgement. The job I once craved, is no longer my lifes ambition.
All to often we opt for safe instead of following our dreams, telling ourselves it’s fate, rather than taking the plunge and actually doing something we love!
Can we afford to keep taking the safe option?
Kaidi Bowen Coaching
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton